Even before we got married, we talked about starting and raising a family. Both of us love children and have always looked forward to the day when we could love one of our own. Last summer, right after our 2nd anniversary, Matt started talking about us starting our little family. Anyone who knows me best knows that I am a HUGE worrier, so of course, I did not see it as a good fit. I told him that we should wait until the next summer and see how we felt and where we were in our lives. Well, that summer came up rather quickly. Matt and I had talked on many occasions about having a baby, but I still was being selfish, and I was not letting my faith and God take control. I threw every excuse known for why we should not have a baby. Not enough money. Who is going to watch the baby? He works late nights and Saturdays. We need new carpet. We might need a bigger car. Excuses, excuses. I finally came to realize that we would NEVER be really where we wanted to be in order to start a family. We were going to have to do what is sometimes so hard to do, and that is to fully trust God. If this baby was meant to be, then God, in His own special way, would provide for us.
With all that said, we decided not to tell anyone about trying for a baby. We really wanted to surprise everyone. We did not think anyone would expect it, and that is the way we wanted it. Believe me...it was so hard not telling my mom, sister, and closest friends. Daniel, my brother, would always ask me each time we would talk on the phone or internet, "When are you gonna get started on making a baby?" I always told him we were just practicing, which I am sure is more than he wanted to know! I figured if people knew that we were trying, then they would always ask us, and I did not want that at all. First of all, it's awkward. Secondly, I wanted to surprise everyone and make it special. So, Matt and I had a little secret that no one would know about until the new life had started!
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